


He needs him

by yiendere



Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff and Smut, M/M, it's cute i promise, it's only a little bit nsfw, mentions of past binwoo, okay so, they're just living the idol life and falling in love, this is basically bin's perspective of how he met jinwoo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:15:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28046040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yiendere/pseuds/yiendere
Summary: It has always been hard for Bin to spill those three dreaded words.But one small Park Jinwoo might change that.
Relationships: Moon Bin/Park Jinwoo | Jin Jin
Comments: 9
Kudos: 17





	He needs him

**Author's Note:**

> Hiiii again! I got yet another prompt from @steponmewooseok on twitter, thank you so much once again for commissioning me! I hope this isn't a complete mess.
> 
> If you also wanna commission me go over to @yiendere on twitter.  
> Alright, tell me if there's any mistakes!

Bin never quite figured out how he got so lucky.

He was never one to think so naively and foolishly, but he really couldn’t figure out another way to put this particular thought into any other words. Not many can say they get to work a full-time job they genuinely love in almost every aspect if you don’t count the sometimes crazy consequences that come with it. 

Every time he steps foot on that stage, he feels it. That rush. His skin sensitive and with goosebumps, as he is consumed by attentive eyes from thousands of fans in attendance. It’s electrifying, yet numbing. Once the haze was gone, he could feel that burning sensation on his back, and on his legs, and also on his arms. It stung and pressed deep into his flesh and bones and wouldn’t go away, but the pain hurt in the most blissful way. Dancing, performing for unnamed screaming fans waving their loving purple lightsticks made the hours of hard work and sleepless nights training worth it. This is his life, and there was no turning back now.

A lot came with living the so-called perfect idol life. Bin learned, with time, that you choose your new family along the way. There would be people who’d trick you and leave you to rot alone in your own pile of shit, and then there would be the ones who’d stick around and watch you succeed at the slow rate of a snail.

Another thing he also learned is that it’s hard to keep a relationship going, romantically or not.

It’s no secret to anyone that most idols need to have eyes on the back of their heads when it comes to dating, especially when it’s in secret. And Goddammit, it’s always in secret.

He recalls the first time he ever developed feelings for one of his group mates, and all the symptoms were there: heart beating too fast whenever said person was around, the nervous way he would play with his fingers while talking to them, and the occasional stutter that came along the way whenever he tried to spill the truth and let them know he had this teenage movie type of crush for them. But rejection is also inevitable. Bin had an odd yet effective way of dealing with it, and it involved ignoring that person completely for a long period of time until he felt at ease with his emotions and mind. Besides, he didn’t fancy the idea of searching up his name on any social media and seeing a sea of people speculating on his love life.

That mentality had persisted for the longest time, with a little heartbreak by the name of Cha Eunwoo here and there, the occasional hook up meticulously planned so no one would follow them, and then the final realization that no, this would never work out. Let’s remain best buddies, right?

But ignoring feelings only works out when those said feelings aren’t that deep to begin with. Sure, he loved the intimate touches and the needy and breathy moans whispered to his ear now and then, but at the end of the day was it really, uh what is it called? Love?

No, most definitely wasn’t.

But spending most of your days with five other dudes, not only doing the fancier stuff required for the job but also just sleeping together or eating together all the time, you are bound to feel a tingle here and there. You know, the cursed butterflies one feels when they realize uh oh am I having a crush on you or are you just happy to see me?  
And maybe, just maybe, those annoying butterflies came in the form of Park Jinwoo. Or Jinjin, if you’re lazy.  
Many were the nights spent with the leader of their group just laughing about dumb jokes spilled from restless nights practicing when their brains weren’t even fully functioning anymore; and many were the mornings where an equally sleepy Jinwoo had to wake up five very grumpy and stubborn boys, knowing damn well they had a schedule they couldn’t skip on. But Jinwoo was soft, or so Bin was accustomed to this type of softness.

Jinwoo would crawl over to the side Bin was sleeping in on their almost shamefully small room, starting with small whispers in attempts to wake up the much taller boy. When said whispers wouldn’t work, he’d place his equally soft hands on Bin’s sleepy and puffy face and caress them, whispering once again and admiring how good of an actor Bin was knowing very well he was pretending to be asleep.

“Come on, we’re in a hurry…” He would say, lovely crescent moons forming on his eyes upon smiling so genuinely. And then he’d plant a kiss on top of Bin’s head, and that was it for the youngest. The loving nature inherent to Jinwoo was what made Bin’s heart swell up with so much warmth. 

Not only that, but Jinwoo was gorgeous. The thought was persistent in his head, but Bin came to accept it. 

Park Jinwoo was also a hot piece of man, in more vulgar words. Training with a sweaty and glistening Jinwoo made up for a messy combination of aroused yet blushing like a teenage girl with a crush for Bin. And don’t get him started on that chest tattoo… because that tattoo alone is keeping Bin up wide awake at night with thoughts perhaps not so safe for work.

But he wouldn't admit he thought of him as a very handsome man. It was not only perverted in his blurry and messy mind but also awkward and hard to explain to a dude who’s probably as straight as an arrow that hey, I get a boner watching you practice but also I get a heart boner from just hugging you because you’re the perfect height for me to hold. 

He also learned that living full time with Jinwoo was what the kids call a blast. Bin didn't know that Jinwoo had this fun and playful side to him until they started walking side by side almost every hour of the day. It wasn't just small trips to the gym, or bad dad jokes spat at each other every now and then to relieve the tension, no. It was natural to be near Jinwoo. There was no need to have useless conversations that didn’t contribute to anything but to waste their time.  
Spending time with Jinwoo meant comfort and security. And that was scary. Bin knew this feeling all too well, and it was nerve-wracking, to say the least. But at the same time, it felt like the right thing to do. To be around him, and tell him about the rude lady who took his order at Starbucks and wrote his name as “Soobin”, or about that time he almost dropped his phone on the sidewalk because he was texting Jinwoo and wasn’t paying attention to his own footsteps. It felt right to text him every night before going to bed to send him a picture of the television screen in his hotel room that only had foreign channels, but Bin watched them anyway because he had nothing better to do. And he felt all warm inside whenever Jinwoo did the same and sent him a video of his stupid and adorable face trying to read the names of the hygiene products in the hotel bathroom in a language none of them mastered.

It wouldn’t be a normal day in their lives if they didn’t get lost from the rest of the group while visiting a new city and then trying to find their way back to the hotel. Bonus points if it started to rain, because then they would look like complete fools running around the streets, all wet and slippery. Actually, Bin would run around. He claimed that his hair and clip on bangs were too impeccably done and neat to be damaged by the rain, and to Jinwoo that was just ridiculous in the most interesting way possible. Because Jinwoo didn’t run after him, he would just watch from afar as this grown man ran around to protect his precious dyed hair.  
He knew he was into deep when he smiled at this nonsense.  
He also knew he wasn’t the only one fucked by these feelings when he noticed how flustered Jinwoo would get whenever he told him his hair was just fine, proceeding to place one single and wild strand of hair that got out of place behind the other man’s ear, standing on his tippy toes and causing Bin to have yet another heart attack.  
Did it make his heart skip a beat to know Jinwoo probably smiled at their text messages and thought of him throughout the day? Absolutely.

But he also knew that having a crush on someone you’re obliged to work with for the next few years is no good once the feelings are gone. Call it being pessimistic, but he calls it common sense.

On one hand, he wanted to ignore him as he did to most of his crushes. But this time he couldn’t.

Whenever he didn’t act the same way he always did around Jinwoo, the other one would notice right away. Jinwoo could read him like a book, from start to finish, and back to front. It annoyed him yet it left him speechless because no one ever got to know him enough to notice the small details about his day to day behavior. Jinwoo knows the type of music he always wants to listen to on long car rides, and he knows the lyrics to almost all of them just so he doesn’t leave Bin hanging.  
He knows the name of that one kid in high school Bin told him about that used to bully him to such an extent he almost lost his damn mind and punched the kid square in the face once.  
He knows it all. And knowing it all also means they don’t need to have that awkward conversation where you admit to like the other a little too much.´  
They know. Jinwoo knows.

They can’t tell exactly when they decided to become a thing, but they weren’t too subtle about it. From interviews sitting together to inside jokes on live television that made them laugh after the cameras were off, working together became the single most amazing thing that probably happened in Bin’s life.  
The only thing that topped having segments together was probably sharing a hotel room. To be able to throw Jinwoo across the bed and crawl on top of him just to lean down and tilt his head to whisper all the things Bin wants to do with his body ... it is worth every week that neither of them was brave enough to admit what they were feeling. It was impossible to keep track of the numbers of nights they got lost in each other's arms, invested in one another, every nook and cranny still yet to be loved and cherished. This wasn’t planned, and this wasn’t supposed to happen. No one prepared Bin to fall in love with his best friend, let alone be loved back.

He didn’t expect to wake up every day next to this beautiful man and be able to contemplate how lucky he truly is. In every sense of the damn word. It became a daily thing to wake up next to Jinwoo. Almost like a married couple on honeymoon. At first, it was rather weird to wake up and find another semi-naked body apart from his resting by his side, and it was even weirder to have big and strong arms wrapped around him, and Bin liked to think of this as a vague attempt of Jinwoo securing him in bed so he wouldn’t run away. Good strategy.

Today was no exception to the rule. Only this time, Jinwoo was sleeping with his back pressed flat to the mattress, the bedsheets barely covering his naked body. It was such an unholy vision to see Jinwoo like this, his heavenly sculpted body so exposed and vulnerable. And the tattoo. Never forget the damn tattoo.  
But it was also the way the light reflected on his lover’s body, highlighting his muscular physique, as further evidence of the perfection achieved through numerous hours spent dancing but also at the gym. The temptation to touch his skin, so soft and silky, was tremendous.

His fingertips were just mere millimeters away from gently caressing the naked body of Jinwoo, as he observed the calm and serene way his lover’s chest would rise and fall again and again with each breath of air, reminding Bin he was immobile yet present. He let his tongue wander gently across his own lips, simply observing the beauty of the other, his fingers twitching above Jinwoo’s skin, while his brain scolded him for wanting to disrupt his boyfriend’s deep sleep for such carnal and perverted reasons. The small sleepy moan that suddenly escaped Jinwoo’s lips made Bin drift his hand away, perhaps too abruptly but it still wasn’t enough to wake the other man from his sleep, and Bin thanked all the gods from above for letting Jinwoo sleep throughout an entire thunderstorm and not flinching even once, or else he would blame himself for days for waking him up.

It was inevitable to recall the events that occurred the night before, when Bin’s attention focused on those same strands of now brown dyed hair, pulling slightly at first and gradually increasing the strength of his grip, given the desperation of the man to whom the hair belonged to.  
The moaning and pleadings to pull harder, mixed with a look full of pleasure and lust, while soft yet manly hands roamed a delicate path on Bin’s back, nails digging deep into his sensitive skin, as a desperate request followed  
"Please…”.  
It was impossible to deny such a desperate wish, the voice of the man underneath his body made him think of the most obscene things he could do at that moment that later on would make him blush at the thought of such wickedness. It was a very pornographic image, really: Jinwoo, completely naked and vulnerable, body sweating and twitching in pleasure, restless and desperate hands seeking for the body of the man who made him this mess. The marks left by Bin along Jinwoo’s body were a clear message to whoever passed them that Jinwoo was his.

Only he could make him moan like that, and make him beg for more even after hours and hours of pure mental and physical torture. The way Jinwoo felt so full the moment Bin was buried deep inside his body. So thick and able to fill him in ways he thought unimaginable. There was a certain sense of fulfillment each time his beloved penetrated him; Jinwoo felt dominated, knowing perfectly well that his body was at the mercy of this man. Any coherent thought was lost the second Bin bucked his hips and moved in the most torturous way possible, so slow and painful.

And Bin loved this feeling of dominance.

He loved the touch of skin with skin, bodies colliding with each other with each thrust, and the little muffled moans coming from underneath him.

“Fuck me. Harder… please...” And he looked up at him, my god, the way he looked at him. That look alone could drive Bin to madness. And he kept pleading for more, and more, and more. His eyes rolled to the back of his head, broken cries begging Bin to keep going, mouth dropped open as if he was waiting for that final moan of complete ecstasy to hit him, but not yet. Bin pulled all the right strings to take Jinwoo to the point of complete pleasure, making it last as long as he’d wish.

He was the one in control. Jinwoo could only wait. And his name echoed through the entire room, so delicate and yet so loud.

And…  
"How long are you planning to stand there and stare at me, huh?" A soft yet sleepy voice woke Bin up from his perverted thoughts.  
"Huh ... how long have you been awake?" Bin felt rather embarrassed for acting like such a creep and watching his boyfriend sleep for so long. He received a smile from the other man, while a heavy arm made itself felt around Bin’s torso. Bin was always going to feel those butterflies in his stomach every time Jinwoo held him or touched him in any way. It was almost impossible not to feel loved when his boyfriend was around. And this was all new to Bin.

It was no secret that he wasn't exactly an expert when it came to the love department; he made sure he mentioned it several times. But for the first time in many years, he felt that this was a good thing. He had learned so much with Jinwoo in such a short period of time. He never thought of doing certain things that he now does every single day, from the nastiest positions found online, to the more loving and romantic ones.

“Well…” His hand rose slowly up Bin’s arm, a touch so gentle and kind that made the younger man’s skin tingle in anticipation. His index finger traced a small path across Bin’s chest, circling his right nipple. Jinwoo felt particularly proud of himself once he managed to obtain a small reaction from Bin, as his lover moved around on his side of the bed, trying his very best to contain a small whine that was anxiously waiting to escape his mouth “You kept poking my chest… right over my tattoo. That kind of woke me up….”

The fucking tattoo.

And with a simple movement, Jinwoo scooted closer to his loved one, leaving almost no space between them, and that mouth was way too close to Bin’s.  
Fuck, his lips were too tempting, even if they weren’t touching just yet.  
Jinwoo rubbed his lips slowly over his boyfriend's, knowing very well this would leave the other man aching for more. One of Bin’s hands made its way up to Jinwoo’s neck, desperately trying to pull him closer to finally close that agonizing space between them and clench his thirst for his mouth.

He wanted him so badly.

To just flip him around and make him beg for his cock, like he had done many times before. But they had a schedule to comply to, and that was the worst part of living this glamorous yet annoying at the most inconvenient times idol life.  
“Easy there…” His words felt like a sword digging its way through Bin’s heart, as the older man bit down on his boyfriend’s lip, leaving him panting for more. He had the nerve to smile at Bin’s pain because that's exactly what Jinwoo was doing, torturing him while being fully aware of his lover’s growing erection covered by the thin fabric of the bedsheets.

“We have no time. You know that. Plus, I can already hear MJ’s loud ass giggles from here… and he’s on the top floor” And with a delicate and simple movement, Jinwoo sat on the bed and got up, a shade of red emerging on his lover’s cheeks as he got out of bed, flashing Bin with the almost angelic view of his bare backside. He looked back at his lover again before picking up a pair of boxers and making his way to the bathroom.

“I promise I’ll take good care of you once we get back here… Sounds good?”

The insatiable desire of wanting to drag Jinwoo back to bed to devour his mouth and feel the heat of his body against his own, even if for only five minutes, was too strong. But a commitment is a commitment. And when Jinwoo makes a promise, he usually keeps it.

“Sounds wonderful.” He said, pulling himself up to sit on the bed, reaching for the blanket to cover up his naked body.

They remained silent for a few seconds, just staring at each other. Bin opened his mouth to speak, but no sound came out.

“It’s okay. I love you anyway.” Jinwoo knew him way too well. And with those simple words echoing in the room, he disappeared behind the bathroom door.

Bin sighed, listening to the noise of the shower water fall in the bathtub while he contemplated the ceiling above his head. It was still hard for Bin to say those three dreaded words. It wasn’t fear of getting disappointed or heartbroken in the end, because he was sure that Jinwoo was indeed the one.

Maybe it was just shyness. Or maybe it was just Bin being Bin.  
Whatever it was, it couldn’t be sadness. His face proved his right, as a wide smile was spread across his face, whispering so quietly he could barely hear himself  
“I love you, too…”  
Moon Bin was a lucky man.


End file.
